Sunday, February 10, 2008

It's official, kids--as of about three hours ago(it's nearly 11:00 P.M. here in the Atlanta area)I've been in this committed relationship called marriage exactly one year(and the "before" part, since August, 1995).
How is marriage different from living together? In my case, it simply feels more "sacred".I feel I have been entrusted with his welfare, with his deepest needs and wants, and he with mine. And we "sealed the deal", by proclaiming that committment, "In front of God and everyone.."
A dear friend of Hansoo's recently met up with us, and asked about our staying together for so long(since we've been together for nearly 13 years, that's literally longer than many marriages).I told this fellow that it takes work, and any couple who says they "never disagree" have a pretty shallow(they never reveal when they feel differently about something, or they avoid ALL conflict--very unhealthy) relationship.
But there's a RIGHT way to disagree, and really WRONG ways to disagree.Name-calling, hurtful words, ridicule, has no place in a discussion, debate, or argument.
I'd say mutual respect, and never going to a place of "cheap shots" ensures that even when you or your partner are not at their absolute best, neither of you will do your absolute worst.The rest of the time?
I try to be patient, since Hansoo is NOT the extrovert I am, and often declines social events, lectures, plays, public readings, etc.He's a solitary type, while I enjoy tremendously being around gobs of people(I spend ENOUGH time alone--writing, rehearsing, etc..).
It has grounded me to be at home more, and I am much more comfortable "in my skin" than I was many years ago.
I don't know if being with Hansoo has helped me adapt to more "at home" activities, but I think it has... Likewise, I think he's grown in reaching out to others(which is difficult for a real introvert).
I hope we "balance" each other, and I hope it lasts.

In the news:
I predicted over two years ago Hillary would NOT get the nomination, and that may very well be what happens. Having said that, I find her more appealing than ever--her tenacity is amazing!
I am a strong, steadfast Obama supporter, but I hope "Dream Team" comes about, because I think if the two of them could agree to be on the ticket together, it would be an amazing landslide!
(Sidebar: John Edwards may be waiting-in-the-wings for a shot at V.P. or a Cabinet post).
Have a great night--I'm headed to bed, to uh, celebrate our anniversary!

1 comment:

Collin said...

Happy anniversary to you and Hansoo.