UPDATE: NEW "LETTERS FROM SUSAN".

UPDATE: NEW "LETTERS FROM SUSAN."
A few weeks ago, I published a letter from an ol' college friend, Susan, right here in this blog. Her current challenges were inspiring, because she refuses to give up, and bravely--as always-- shoulders on.I think kids, you'll find her as outrageously witty, tender, and inspiring as I did.


Just got back from a job interview at a urologist's office. Keep your fingers crossed. The lady I interviewed with seemed to like what I had to offer. It would be a $5 per hour increase from what I'm making at Walmart. You'll laugh about the following:

I was painting a the inside of a house when I got the message that she wanted to interview me today. It was 3 p.m. and she wanted to see me at 4 p.m. No time to get home to get clothes, especially with the monsoon that tore through the area right as I got the call. Lucky that the house I was painting belongs to a friend who is about my size. I cleaned up, got dressed in a reasonable outfit of elastic waisted scrub pants and a short-sleeved top. The ensemb' was finished off with a pair of white nursing oxfords I found in the back of the closet. A bright yellow poncho completed the effect I had half an hour to get there through the pouring rain and a chronically fogged windshield (A/C's out).

While walking into the building, I notice that my right leg seems taller than the other, and almost feels like . . . like, oh darn -- I look down and, sure enough, I'm wearing a pair of white nursing shoes alright, but their respective mates are back in the closet AND THE RIGHT ONE HAS A HIGHER HEEL THAN THE LEFT. "Okay," I think, "I can just bend my knee a little as I walk and maybe she won't notice." I hobble onward. As I walk, the left shoe feels more and more uncomfortable - almost like there is an insert or orthotic inside. "Great, I got one of Peg's special arch support shoes." Somehow I will overcome this. I am determined.

I get to the office and fill out the form. I go to put a slip of paper in the front pocket of the scrub pants - and the pocket is not there! It's in back! MY PANTS ARE ON BACKWARDS! It's almost time for my interview AND THERE IS NO TIME TO CHANGE!
She calls me back to the office, and I try to pull off a confident sure-footed walk while pulling the back of my shirt over the front of my pants. I then gallantly begin my job interview where I am determined to show them what an organized, forward thinking, responsible person I am.

End of story - the interview went well. She senses I may be the person she is looking for. I may be called back for a second interview with the doctor. She has a couple of more people to interview, so say a prayer, keep your fingers crossed, light a candle and burn some sage. I'll know by Monday.

Final funny. When I got home and removed the uncomfortable left shoe, I discovered my foot had been resting alongside a rather large, rather hard, plastic clothes pin.

Sigh . . .
Love ya.
will write more later.
Susan



And then, I (Lisa Allender) received this letter from Susan, just two days later, with this in the subject line:



The lady I Interviewed With, Got Fired.

The office still knows I am interested in working there. And now they are very, very short-handed. I am so disappointed - she gave every impression that I was to meet with the doctor today. She even said at the close of the interview that they would love to have me work there.

I keep looking for the golden lining in this cloud of a life, but all I find is more raindrops.

Love you,
Susan

Once again, Susan manages to detail her disappointment, but always with a sense of hope. Finally, the letter to me (Lisa),below, details her dark history, but also describes the triumphant ending which she herself is creating!Thank you, everyone, for your comments at Lisa Allender Writes. As you'll see, I'm not the only one who appreciates them!

I just read the comments on my letter in your blog. Wow! People are really supportive, and I want to thank them for their words of encouragement. Several of them pointed out something I have thought long and hard about -- my marriages. I always wanted a home, a family, the give and take of a relationship that could stand tall through the tough times and rejoice in the little triumphs. Life and all that we that know is not perfect. I mourn the fact that I may never share with a loved one the joy of growing old and more imperfect with each passing year.

My first marriage was my best. We were the best of friends. We dated and eventually lived together for years before "tying the knot." Church was the center of our lives. I converted to Catholicism and loved (and still love) the rich meaning every part of the mass held. Towards the end of the marriage he did some things that disgust me to this day. I couldn't stand the hypocrisy of his holy behavior in church and his awful behavior at home. After much soul searching and counseling, I left.

Ten years later I married again. I had no hint of the violence of which this man was capable while dating and engaged. He was a retired executive and community leader and was well trusted by others. I realize now that his enraged attack on me and my cat may have been the first hint of a degenerative brain disease that eventually killed him 2 years ago. I put him in jail and lived in a battered woman's shelter for awhile. It was in that place, with the windows covered with foil and security camera's outside that I realized it is not enough to survive tough times, you must triumph over them. I ate my meals by dipping a knife in baby food and sliding it between my teeth. I did chores. I attended counseling sessions and talked with other bruised and saddened women, and tolerated their children who played violent-tinged games. The same hurt look was in all of our eyes. Then one day, while washing our mis-matched dishes after a wonderful dinner of chicken stew, I began to sing to myself. I hadn't done that in so long. I knew I would be alright. I got training as a CNA - took a lot of extra shifts and saved my uncashed paychecks while I house-sat for several months. The day I walked into the bank and turned my paychecks into a cashier's check for the down-payment for my little home was my day of triumph. It told him I definitely was not coming back - no matter how many dozens of roses, beautiful cards and offers of dinner he sent. When he came to the house, I would not let him in. The indentation left by his fist is still on my front door.

That's why it's so important that I save my house. It saved my life.

Good news Lisa -- today I caught up the house payments! The mortgage is current. It took almost a year and working 2 and 3 jobs, but it's done. Now to keep it that way. Now to get the other bills caught up, I pray my debtors will be patient with me.

Also, last night Walmart hired me to work overnights in their cosmetics department. It's $1.50 more per hour! I'm so thrilled!

One little step at a time, even if you have a clothespin in your shoe!

Love you Lisa. Got your voicemail. No $$$ on the phone to call you. Sounds like you and Hansoo had a wonderful time! Your description of the food had me drooling. Of course you can still use my words - if it helps to put a face on the struggle millions of Americans are experiencing now.

I saw that Oprah today will do a show on "What Class are You Now?" I hope she handles the sociological sinking of a great portion of our society with grace. Otherwise, she will rub salt into the wounds of many, many hurting people. I know because I have been, literally, a few days away from living on the street. This from a well-educated woman who has held highly responsible positions, helped found several non-profits, rubbed elbows with powerful politicians in my state and who had a pair of red Farregamo spike-healed shoes in her closet. Banquets and concerts and board meetings were my life. Nothing prepared me for what I am experiencing now. A lot of days I feel lower than dirt. When the creditors press me, I feel like a criminal. So yes Oprah, I have sunk several rungs on our social class ladder. (And I hate the use of the term social class, it does not belong in America, it does not belong before God.) But Oprah, dear Oprah, I do not want a hand out. I do not want a hand up. I just want to find a crack in this brick wall I've run up against so I can claw and scratch and climb my way out of this mess.

Susan

I hope all of you, whenever you encounter a challenge, will remember Susan, and her Herculean efforts to do better. To achieve more.

Continued success, Susan, and to all the readers here at Lisa Allender Writes.Keep the faith.

Peace, kids.

RIGHT ON, DELAWARE!

MY FIRST BIG ROAD TRIP!
The trip that college pal Jeanne and I took to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, was lovely! Jeanne had suggested I accompany her to visit with her sister Lynne, in a "reunion" of sorts. Jeanne has repeatedly said I "earned" this trip, after going "through hell" in having my long-over-due surgery, and then my long, sometimes painful, recovery...I won't argue, it was great, and I'm glad I chose to join her, and her generosity still amazes me...I'm so grateful I am feeling well, and was able to make the trip, which reminded me why I'm so close with Jeanne. Besides earning my deep respect (she is a talented actress, and a budding, versatile writer(plays)), she is someone who immediately puts others at ease. Open, warm, and very witty, she is the perfect companion for a long trip, as she is always observant, and very much "in-the moment".
With me wielding the map, Jeanne would ask "how far are we from...?" and usually, I'd answer "Uh, I dunno. It[whatever town she was searching for] looks close." We had a GPS with us(courtesy honey Hansoo)but we refused to use it on the way up, as it was programmed for "quickest route", and we wanted to drive along the most scenic routes, which we did--Virginia Beach, Virginia; Ocean City, Maryland; and finally, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.
Scary moment:
Thinking I had already disabled the GPS(and that annoying voice--female, and robot-like--that tells the occupants of a vehicle precisely where to go), Jeanne and I were appreciating the scenery when suddenly that voice barked at us, "You must turn around. Make a U-turn, now. Make a U-turn, now." We both jumped, lurching forward at the sound of what I afterwards referred to as "that bit#^" and then just as quickly, we convulsed into laughter, when we realized that if the GPS is on, you cannot turn "her" off. Just turn her DOWN. So we did. We could still hear a "hum" of activity from her, until I shook the GPS for a few seconds, when "she" suddenly fell silent.
We DID use her directions on the way home, because we were choosing to be only quick in returning home, not "scenic".
High points of the trip up:
*High Point, North Carolina:
the "Highboy" chest of drawers, large enough for the Jolly Green Giant to use as his personal chest of drawers which front the "Southland Furniture" store--over one MILLION SQUARE FEET of furniture, much of it designer names, much of it hand-crafted. Accessories, Lighting supplies and lamps, etc, etc....And their "Bear Cafe' ", where we enjoyed a gorgeous salad of things I could not have for years--dried cranberries, nuts, etc.....
*Karaoke in Emporia--at an APPLEBEE's!!You really have not lived until you visit this Applebee's, and hear the crooners/American Idol wannabe's, do their thing. Hilarious!
*Virginia Beach, Virginia has an enormous statue of "Neptune" there, and Jeanne hopped out to snap pics of it.
When we arrived in Rehoboth Beach, it was cold, dark, rainy. Fog rose and surrounded the small city with what looked like a melting veil of cake-icing. I noticed lots of bake shops, but all were closed until "the season", which I later discovered begins around Memorial Day, and ends at Labor Day. The view from our room the first two days, was everything a beach vacation should be: We were ON THE OCEAN. And I DO mean, on it. Pictures to follow, kids. You'll see what I mean, soon!
The Boardwalk Plaza Hotel is fashioned to resemble an old Victorian B & B, which are plentiful in nearby Cape May.
The first night there, Jeanne and I headed to The Purple Parrot, where we met Pete, a smooth server at the restaurant/bar-- and from what he shared with us--a probably even smoother surfer(he teaches surfing there, and has also taught in Hawaii!). Pete is one of those tall, dark-haired young men with long-ish hair that says"If this were the 1970's, I'd be the super-cool guy". Indeed, his speech was peppered with "right-on", and "yeah, man".
He was adorable--but I found myself thinking how sweet he must treat his Mom, and not how incredibly hot he might be, in other ways. Signs of my getting older, more "mature", I suppose. I hope Pete is as successful as he wishes. He's got lots of charisma, and certainly has a great work ethic.
Re-meeting Lynne was wonderful. As Jeanne's older sis, she's a gentle advisor in all things relationship-oriented, and they did some family-catching-up while I stared out at that glorious Atlantic Ocean, the sea frequently stormy(Tuesday and Wednesday) and eerily calm(Thursday and Friday). I got some notes for some poems(I often jot down phrases to use later, once the poem starts to "build-up" in my mind).
We all had lots to share with one another in terms of relationships(What I learned:"If your husband won't [do this or that].....do it yourself."). I was introduced to Dawna, and Mia, a mommy and child(Mom is older, white, and a teacher)Child is now six, Chinese, adopted a few years ago. They're awesome together.
I also had the extreme pleasure of meeting Mary Ann, who was a college-chum of Lynne's. And I found myself hoping and praying that Jeanne and I have that great, long-lasting friendhip that her sis Lynne, and her pal, Mary Ann, enjoy. I feel sure we already do!

The food was incredible. If you enjoy seafood, this is THE PLACE.(Lobsters are cheap, and huge!Crab cakes melt in your mouth. The shrimp are NOT shrimpy-small, but huge, and juicy. The scallops, delicate, and buttery on your tongue.Oh. Oh. Oh. Aaaahhhhhhhhhh....). Rehoboth Beach is pretty Veg-friendly, too. With a nearby Farmers' Market(which opens soon!) and wonderful sweet white corn-on-the-cob(great with new potatoes, or those lobsters!), fresh green beans, carrots, wax beans, and assorted nuts and soy-products, too.
My favorite meal?The Lobster Mac-and-Cheese(a light, white cheese sauce with shell-shaped(what else at a beach side hotel?)pasta bathes the lobster chunks scattered throughout this dish. wow.)at the Boardwalk Plaza Hotel.
Second-favorite meal:
Irish Eyes pub's Vegetarian Shepherd's Pie: With loads of green beans(a "staple" in Rehoboth, it seems--green beans are EVERYWHERE!), carrots, wax beans, and mountains of creamy potatoes and shredded cheese, it is filling, and mouthwatering!
Jeanne and I hit the local Cracker Barrel (Cracker Barrel is a national chain, but features many regional items at various locations)for several eats:a late breakfast/early lunch(various items--veggie plates), a dessert(hot apple pie, with cinnamon ice cream and caramel sauce), and a dinner(the cheap, good, chicken-n-dumplins').
Rehoboth Beach is very family-friendly, too. And by that, I mean, ALL FAMILIES. On the boardwalk of Rehoboth Beach, which features clothing, cameras sales, diamond stores, sunglasses, salt-water taffy, cotton candy, etc., I saw typical, run-of-the-mill husband- wife-two kids. I also saw older white folks, with young Chinese babies.I saw lesbian partners, hand-in-hand. Two daddies, locking arms, with a small child in tow. Numerous groups of LGBTQ folk, headed to Cloud 9 or Blue Moon Cafe'. Many restaurants and pubs advertise in the the gay publications, Philadelphia Blade, and the Washington Blade.
That's family.

Tanger Outlets featured a "Van's " store(I think it is an Australian-based store(their logo features a kangaroo, which is where I'm getting the Australian idea. (Though the kangaroo is pink, and appear to be drunk or high.) which features cool shoes, t-shirts, etc.), where Jeanne found some cuuuuuute sneakers for me, with black-n-white Peace signs all over them!(special props to sales-guy, Mike at that store, who was very helpful. He later asked "Do you wear skirts?" and showed me some gorgeous mini's , originally priced at $30.00, on sale for $4.95!!
These were made of heavy fabric--feels like soft wool blend--I chose a tartan-styled solid red, with a twin-buckle. I feel I should wear it with leggings, as it's really short. As I was leaving, he suggested various bars I should visit, and said "If you wear that, you know, you'll do all right..."
Not that I had any intention of hitting a bar at all, let alone in a mini-skirt, but gee, what a compliment (from a young, stud-ly guy!)at my age!

MOST FUN I HAD IN A SINGLE DAY:
Finding "Sea Glass" on the beach....and later,
Visiting "Browseabout Books", on the Boardwalk.They hold many events, have a great selection of poetry and art books(including one on "Sea Glass"), and have a killer Mexican Chocolate Frozen drink(I asked for coffee in mine! Wow.)
"Atlantic Books", another indie bookstore, is located on the Boardwalk, too, and is smaller, and lovely as well .
FAST FACTS ABOUT DELAWARE:
*It's the FIRST STATE.
*Six Lighthouses on its' coast.
*NO Sales Tax of any kind!This puzzled me, since their roads are clean and well-maintained, there is very little crime, and the schools are highly ranked.(Where do they get the money for maintenance , police, firemen, teachers, schools, and infrastructure?, I wondered).Turns out, 90% of Fortune 500 companies are "incorporated" there. Which means Delaware reaps huge rewards via "coroprate taxes". I think Georgia needs to look into this--we have 7%, 8%, 9% sales tax in various cities here. Whew. We could divert some "corporate taxes" into FUNDING THE ARTS (Grants for Theatre Gael, an old favorite of mine(Theatre Gael has never gotten the attention it richly deserves.), as well as the hugely popular , but always under-funded, Actors' Express, Atlanta Shakespeare Tavern, 7 Stages, Synchronicity Theatre Group, True Colors, and Horizon Theatre)for heavens' sake.
btw, the Canadians are apparently quite fond of Delaware--one jeweler we met told us that Canadians come to Delaware to purchase Canadian(!) diamonds, because there is a 7% sales-tax on everything in Canada, and an additional "Luxury Sales Tax" on luxury items--like diamonds, of "14%"--which means they pay 21% total sales-tax on diamonds. So they buy in Delaware.
And kids, the "No Sales Tax" applies to all other big-ticket items, like computers and other electronics, too!
NEXT TIME I VISIT:
* Buy more clothing, possibly some jewelry(Not only diamonds, though--I'm more of a semi-precious-turquoise, or topaz kind of girl)
*See more lighthouses, up-close.
*Go see and hear that female impersonator who looks like Barbra Streisand. And has won many awards for her singing, too!She appears often at Cloud 9.
*Visit "The Seafood Shack" which is supposed to be great. It's a popular women/lesbian hangout, too!
I'll be posting links soon, at my List of Poets, Bloggers, and others, for more information on Delaware.

(Quick note on yesterday's Earth Day, visit:
www.oprah.com
for details on keeping the ocean clean, as well as other "Green" tips!)
Peace, kids.

SPIRITUAL INSPIRATION.
From Oprah's website, here's the answer given by a famed author and Holocaust survivor when asked:What Does Spirituality Mean to You?
Elie Wiesel, President of the Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity and author of Night (Hill and Wang)
"Is it at all possible to live without a spiritual quest? Of course it is—theoretically. Under the two totalitarian dictatorships that plagued the 20th century, Fascism and Communism, politics replaced spirituality. But lest we forget: Both collapsed. Can one be spiritual without religious faith? One can. All one needs is to be open to someone else's concerns, fears, and hopes, and to make him or her feel less alone, less abandoned. God alone is alone. Human beings are not, must not be. It is my caring for the otherness of the other that determines my humanity. And my spirituality."

How's that for something to ponder on a quiet Saturday afternoon? This Memorial Weekend, kids, amidst parades and barbeques, please remember that our duty, obligation, moral imperative, is to:
* remember those who've suffered,
*lessen or prevent any future suffering, and
*promote peace.
It's not at all contradictory to promote the concept of Peace when so many people who died serving in the military are being remembered. It is, in fact, only when we achieve a Peaceful, Peace-filled world, that we may ensure we lose no one else to war.
For ways on how to begin your own Peace process, check out:
http://www.paxchristi.org/