Poetry, and Empowerment.

So I've just figured out I must use Google Chrome to write and post my Blogs, from now on...Lots of interesting data is now immediately available to us who blog, regarding page-views --apparently, my most recent Trayvon Martin post (April 11th, 2012), and the post regarding World Fund for Animals (years ago!)have received numerous hits the past two days. But to what I came here for: the shoring up. The feelings of drift have been profound, in recent months.The un-mooring of self, the feeling that I've nearly split into two halves: a Lisa who remembers what it is like to experience joy (and indeed, DID experience that, most recently at the celebration of marriage for Arthur Kwon and his new beloved, Erin Smith, in Highlands, North Carolina, on May 12th, 2012), and a Lisa who feels nothing but crushing, relentless depression. There. I said it. The overwhelming sense of sadness, of inability to "do", to produce, to "affect" anyone, in any way, began last June, when I discovered Robyn Casandra Smith had passed away, without my being made aware of it. I wrote as lovingly as I could, about my loss of my long-time friend, Casandra, and those posts can be seen, simply by scrolling down on this blog, or searching the Archives. Despite my having completed a major role in a feature-length film, despite the Atlanta Premiere(which did not launch perfectly, but hey, it was still a PREMIERE, and the director is a wildly creative, wonderful dude)in November, despite having my closest relatives and dearest of friends here with me, despite a successful audition in December, for a wonderfully funny play, despite the great success of that play, and the warm, inclusive atmosphere of the theatre company who'd selected me to perform with them, despite the friendships made, I am here, now, crying afresh over the loss of yet another friend, and again, the loss is directly linked to her alcoholism.Because her family has not made the cause of her death public, I will choose not to say her name.Which hurts,to not be able to say her name, to make her an "anonymous" thing, a blip....But "D", just like Casandra, made choices which ultimately, led to an addiction--and make no mistake--alcoholism is a disease as real as any cancer, diabetes, or palsy. I am bereft. Last night, I dragged myself out of the house, and attended the "A Face To Meet The Faces" Persona Poetry Launch at the fab indie bookstore, Bound To Be Read Books and invited gorgeous, talented, eternal friend Coral McGhee, to join me. I was delighted that it ended up being what I'd term a Facebook-Face-to-Face, as well, since I got to shake hands with(my up-til-now-Friends-on- Facebook) the inimitable Dan Albergotti,one of the poet-contributors, and Stacey Lynn Brown, editor of this anthology. I was expecting a great reading, with a few poets I adore (like my eternal friend, Collin Kelley, who, in reading his David Lynch-inspired poem, was in rare form)hadn't yet heard...what we (sizable audience gathered) got, was one of the most illuminating evenings of poetry I've been honored to be present for, in quite awhile. The "persona" theme for this anthology is quite brilliant, because every writer, like all actors, uses the (Stanislavsky, thank you)"magic If" to plant herself/himself into the soul of someone else. There were literary characters' imagined conversations, madmen musings, and history, revisited. I found myself longing to bring all these pieces to life, via the stage, so human, so deeply empathetic (as Ms. Brown introduced the poets, and deftly pointed out, "Empathy is the most important trait[of our humanity].") were the persona pieces, read.... I won't reveal exactly what you'll miss out on, but if you don't go get a copy, and fast, you will miss out on a great opportunity to make that connection, that communion, for which we all, long. Peace, kids.

Communion, in an unlikely place.

The other day, while at the hospital, I noticed a sweet looking older lady, soft blond hair, bright eyes, moving about with purpose, and a deep sorrow in those eyes.She spoke to me as I sat in the Family Waiting Room with two of my dear Korean nieces.We ended up discussing books, this stranger and I.... "Hi, I'm Lisa." "I'm Frances", she said, softly, and politely...Seems she enjoys reading about Asian culture, and so I shared a few titles I thought she'd enjoy.Worried she'd forget the titles, I offered to jot them down. I handed her the list(among them, the Pulitzer-prize-winning author, Robert Olen Butler, who penned the vietnam-centric, "Good Scent From A Strange Mountain", a collection of short stories. And another author, and book I'll disclose in a moment)a business card, and explained that I was here in the hospital, because of my in-laws being injured in the horrific accident on Monday evening. She was there, she said, tears beginning in her eyes, because her (elderly) husband had suffered a seizure, and she hoped he would open his eyes soon, and be able to speak soon.
When she saw my name on my card, she gasped."I am your neighbor...we live in the same neighborhood; I recognize your name, Lisa."(I write updates on the film industry, and occasionally write articles on beauty and skin care,for our Neighborhood Newsletter).
"What?"
"I'm Frances[last name]"
Quickly, I shouted,
"Yes, Frances and Irv [last name]"
"How did you know my husband's name?From his work on HOA board?"
"No, I'm not involved at all, in that...I have looked through our Neighborhood Directory, and my memory is very, very good..if I see something in print, Frances, I can recall it pretty easily.When you said your last name, I immediately saw in my mind, Irv and Frances [last name].
I explained how odd it felt,meeting after 6 years of living somewhere, your neighbor(they live two streets over, have lived there for 7 years).
We talked about our injured relatives; I confided I was worried about my Mother-in-law, about her needing help afterwards.(I secretly worried whether I am up to the task).....and then I told Frances about that book, the one I'd picked up for my in-laws, and for me, to read, just last week.The book, by a female Korean author, is her first which has been translated into English. The book I discovered, that my Mother-in-Law's best friend had coincidentally mentioned, as my Mother-in-Law,Omma K. spoke to her from our home, to hers(my Omma K.'s friend lives in Los Angeles), and her friend joked, "Tell your daughter-in-law I read this new book from my iPad, like the young people." She said she'd already read it in Korean, but wanted to experience it, in English. I learned of this through my Father-in-Law, who told me how I should "Go ahead and read it first, Lisa.Omma K. is too hurt, she won't be able to read it anytime soon."
It was then that I discovered why I had picked up the book, long before Monday's accident occurred.I understood some of what I'll be doing, with my Omma K., to help her heal....I'll be reading to her,and with her. And this book, the one I'd spotted last week, that I instinctively wanted, knowing nothing about it, or the author? It was the title which had intrigued me:
"Please Take Care of Mom."
There was a quick hug, intiated by Frances, when we realized we were neighbors.After sharing the story of my injured mother-in-law, and the story that I would now read the story to her, as she recovers, I hugged my new friend, Frances, again.
This is what connection is made of.This is Communion.
Oh, and her husband, Irv? He opened his eyes, and spoke to her, that same afternoon.

A Bright Reminder Of Why I Am An Unapologetic Idealist.

Wednesday night was so exhilirating, I had to take over 24 hours, to process all of it.
I attended the May meeting for Pax Christi, (St. Jude's chapter).
We had our opening peace prayer
The prayers chosen are always very inclusive, and
(We have featured Native-American prayers, Jewish prayers, Interdenominational, etc.)
I was delighted to see this prayer featured the work of writer Dorothy Day, famed for founding the (socialist) Catholic Worker Movement, which our own fearless leader, Joe Goode asked me to read aloud.
We had our discussions about Peace Moments(we routinely share moments where we felt a presence of Peace); we discussed living non-violently.
We spoke of the new immigration law in Arizona. We are all, absolutely, against such obvious profiling and bigotry. As people of God, we want reform that will allow all(if they wish) to become citizens here.
We all agreed that the USA is quite fortunate to be blessed with such a great mix of people. :)
I offered to cast, and direct "A Line In The Sand", a play written by young people involved with CRS(Catholic Relief Services) and a play that I feel is especially timely, given the increasingly heated debate in the USA, over immigration.
I had first mentioned this play, back in 2007, and am glad we waited.
The play chronicles several scenarios involving undocumented workers from Mexico, the so-called "coyotes" that get them here, and the fear their families endure, seeing their loved ones try to squeeze across the border, just for a job that does not even pay a living-wage.
I hope to get this cast, and begin rehearsing, by late summer, or early fall.
We'll see!
We discussed books written that explore faith and spirituality, whether by metaphor(think:any novel by Flannery O'Connor)or in a biography or memoir(think: "A Persistent Peace", by Fr. John Dear)
The evening was one of connection(all of us offering support for each other's prayer intentions; all of us discussing ways to better live in peace, with one another), and communion(not the wafer-type, but the communion between humans that occurs when the connection is made real, whole, and wholly meaningful).
Every meeting I attend, I am again reminded of why I joined this group--and continued in this journey(I am a charter-member of PCSJ)--it is because it is here that I feel lifted-up, certain that the idealism we all hold in our hearts, and the living example of the peaceful, non-violent Christ we believe in(the only Jesus Christ who existed)and which we try to follow, can be achieved.
We can make a difference.
We will.
Peace, kids.

Small is the new Big.

I keep noticing performers speaking about acting, or singing, in new ways.
For instance, I recently saw James Franco on Saturday Night Live(this past Saturday night, in their last show of this year), discussing why he's on the soap opera, General Hospital.
Mr. Franco has been in big-budget films like "Spiderman", as well as popular, prime-time("Freaks and Geeks") television series.
I read that he wanted the experience of a "performance artist", that he wanted to perform in a different way, as an "experiment."
Then on "CBS Sunday Morning"(my all-time favorite television show), the wonderful singer-songwriter Sting was interviewed on why he's suddenly choosing to perform in pubs, and in churches(?!).
"It's different.It's one thing to perform in front of 6,000 people in a stadium, but it takes something else to perform in front of 4 or 5 people, in a pub."

I would say it takes intimacy--and a comfort with sharing such intimacy, too.
Perhaps that intimacy--that communion I so often speak of, that I believe we're all searching for--at church, in the theatre, at an art gallery, when listening to a poet read--is finally becoming an admittedly desirable thing.
For too long, we've had the faux-intimacy of e-mail and Facebook(I am a confessed FB addict).Even this blog is not a true person-to-person experience.
Maybe what I'm hearing esteemed actor James Franco, and accomplished singer Sting
say is that the smaller experience can be a more genuine one, or one perhaps felt at a different(deeper?) level.
Seems to me, small is the new big.
Peace, kids.