Long Drive For A (Happy) Shampoo.

I'm thinking how often we measure relationships out by using physical, or emotional "markers"....in spoonfuls of gifts--the watches I gave him; the rings he gave me; the events we attended together(were they plays and concerts, or football and baseball games?).
In this relationship,I've measured it in the dogs we've held dear; the nights filled with snuggling animals deciding which of us in the "pack" is more "Alpha" (no mystery here, Hansoo wins every time).Other nights, filled with fear(like the time we rushed "Louie" to a local animal-emergency-clinic because he appeared to be having a heart attack(gasping, his chest heaving with labored breath). It was not. It was something called a "reverse-sneeze". All was well a few hours later.) Some nights were filled with dread(like the night we had to put "Frisco", our sweet Aussie to bed, knowing it was the very last time she'd look us in the eye.(Spleen cancer, spread throughout her body, no chance at life).(Note: This is detailed in in this blog's Archives, January 2008)
The good inherent in having companion animals still outweighs all the hurt we feel, when we lose them to time, and to God.
Saturday's visit to faraway Marietta(actually Kennesaw area), was well worth it, too.
The Golden Retriever Rescue of Atlanta helps doggies and prospective "parents" everyday, and we were grateful to take our German Shepherd, "Afton" out for a shampoo, and to donate a bit to this great organization made up of even greater folks. We explained we were there to celebrate Louie's life, by donating a few dollars, and supporting their (dog-washing day at Red Bandana Pet Supply Store) event.
I was struck by the compassion immediate in each volunteer as we described adopting "Louie" from GRRA in 1998, all the great times we had with him, and then losing our adopted baby, "Louie" just over a week ago(last Friday, July 2nd).
Saturday was the first day I did not cry.
Even when the volunteers did cry, as I told of singing to "Louie"(I never told them the song was "Lean On Me")as he was put to sleep a final time, I did not cry.
As Hansoo and I drove off, "Afton", still rambunctious from her shampoo looked back.
I didn't.
I'm still trying to go forward.
Peace, kids.

Endowing Louie's Death, With Meaning.

Oh, this is still so difficult.
I had the great pleasure of my cuz Gigi's company, and got to meet her new life-partner, the very gorgeous, exotic, quiet(did she have the choice of speaking, when cuz Gigi and I are together?!) Natalya. What a great couple they make!The food, the love shared between us, the time well-spent was gratifying, and uplifting.
But still.
I live in a too-quiet house, and miss the sound of one squeak-toy after another being squeezed by a big-mouthed Golden Retriever named "Louie".
"Afton", our calmly affectionate German Shepherd, misses him too.
Started sleeping in his doggie-bed. Carries his toys around.
Nestles at night, next to his "blue-dog"(which still smells like the tobacco-y,baby-powder-y scent that was The Lou), a ratty old toy that used to look like a floppy-eared-dog.
I know he had a great,long life.I know I should be grateful.
And God knows, there is more than enough (large, larger) tragedy in this world, than my losing my best buddy, "Louie".
But right now, it still hurts.
However, tomorrow(Saturday, July 10th), the GRRA(Golden Retriever Rescue of Atlanta) is holding a "Doggie-Wash" at the Red Bandana Pet (Supplies) Store, in Marietta on Dallas Road.
10:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M.
We'll be there, with our "Afton", for a shampoo for her, and to donate to the great Rescue Group from whom we adopted our beloved "Lou".
For just 12 dollars you can give hope--- and give life --- to doggies(Goldens, Labs, etc.) they (GRRA) rescue from being sentenced to death, at Animal Control.
To donate, or to simply see updates and news from GRRA, check out the link on this page, to Golden Retriever Rescue of Atlanta.

Maybe writing and sending cards to others(I bought a bunch of cards the other day, thinking now is the time to re-connect with those I seldom see), and donating $$ and time to worthwhile causes, will help me feel better.
Give his death, a bit more "meaning".
Peace, kids.

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF "THE LOU".

Photo of Afton and Louie, at home, July, 2009.
Photo of Louie with me(Lisa), hiking, Fall, 2008.

He's gone. Yesterday, Hansoo & I went to the veternarian's to retrieve our Retriever, "Louie". We were hoping to have a night, or perhaps the weekend, to take him to the park(he could not walk at all, but we thought he could enjoy the smells, and perhaps have previously "forbidden" treats(like hamburgers and french fries), and to tell him how much we love him.
Unfortunately, when we arrived at the vet's(Louie needed iv's to keep him hydrated, and our vet had kindly taken him to his own home, and cared for him there, overnight)the intravenous injections had not helped. Anemic, still filled with a deadly infection that had spread from his ears into his brain, when we saw him carried in--eyes glassy--limbs "seizing" as Dr. Mike of All Creatures Hospital put it, we knew the picnic we'd planned would not be happening, and the only blanket we'd all be sitting on, would be Louie's as we held his head, rubbed his furry chest, and told him over and over,"You're a good boy, Louie. We love you. Good boy. Good dog."
I hesitantly looked at Dr.Mike and said, "Can we give him steroids? An Operation?"
"Lisa, he's seizing up. He's dying..." He gently added, "He waited for Hansoo; I knew he'd wait for you, Hansoo."(I had been with Louie caring for him at home all week, but had taken Louie in the night before, because he kept falling, and would not take ANY type of food, or drink. I told myself the vet could somehow alleviate that).
Everyone was crying, though I summoned the will to be still, in order to keep Louie calm, as we asked Dr. Mike to make his passing a bit less painful, and he gently inserted the potion into the port already in Louie's leg.(so that Louie would feel no sting of a needle).I was fearful of looking directly into his eyes as he passed, so I closed his eyes as I began to sing to him "Lean On Me"...
(in recent days, his left-leaning body had elicited at least one political barb from me, Look, he leans to the Left--just like his mother.)

"....you need a friend, we all need, somebody, to leannnn, on."
I did not to finish that line, as Louie's eyes fluttered, and I held him tight.
Hansoo sobbed. I buried my face in Louie's still-warm-fur, and told him "We love you, Louie".
I asked sweet Mandy(vet's assistant), in an oddly calm voice, if we could get a cast of his paw.(A simple procedure for a "keepsake" of your baby).

The drive over, with Louie bundled in the very back of the SUV, was so difficult.
We'd planned for his passing to be at home, and here we were--driving home to let "Afton", our sweet German Shepherd out for a few moments.I wanted Afton to somehow "get" that Louie would not be here anymore.So,we let her see him, his head visible in the blanket in the SUV, and she approached enthusiastically with a wag, then a somewhat curious look, and several sniffs, then a slowwww backing away, as if she suddenly "understood".
She came over to me, sat by my side, and offered her head on my hand, where she kissed me, and whined, and then, like the wonder that all dogs are, suddenly looked up at me, beginning to wag her thump-y tail, as if to say "I'm here; I'm alive!"
I trotted her back to the pantry, gave her a treat, repeatedly telling her "You're a good girl.Be good. Mommy and Daddy will be back soon."
We were headed to "Paws, Whiskers, and Wags", the amazing Pet Crematory who helped us navigate through the shell-shocked pain we felt, once before, when we lost "Frisco", our beloved Aussie, in January, 2008.(See Archives, at this blog, below).
Jill was wonderful---a true professional, she offered help, then let us "visit" with "The Lou" as we called him, one last time.
I asked for scissors to clip just abit more(before we'd left at All Creatures Animal Hospital, I'd gotten a bit) of his reddish-gold fur, held his face again, and told him we loved him, that he was a great dog, "Good dog, Louie.I'll see you again,later." and his body was led away to the crematory.
While we waited(we took his ashes home in an urn; we will select a lovely Howard Miller box with room for a photo, soon), Hansoo and I looked at pictures of dogs,and read descriptions of various breeds, in "The Big Book of Dogs" in the lounge area.I told Hansoo how I'd wished I had a tape of Louie drinking his water from his water-bowl. The loud slurpping and sloshing was always hilarious, and as I told Hansoo this, he scanned through his i-phone for any videos of our doggies he might have stored.
A truly grace-filled moment, was when he clicked onto a video he'd shot,just months ago,of Louie and Afton, playing in our backyard.
A distict slosh, slurp, slosh can be heard as the tape opens. Then a Golden Retriever(Louie,of course)is seen in the lower-left foreground, dripping water, as he watches "Afton" engaging him in play.
A bit of running, jumping, boxing, and a few play-bows later, we see Afton finally sit, and Louie disengage. Hansoo is heard, saying,
"Good boy,Lou; Good girl, Aft." and the tape ends.
The running, jumping, and playing has ended on earth for Louie.
If we're lucky, we get a companion like "The Lou" to run, jump, and play with us.
And if we're really lucky, we get family and friends to help us through a loss like this.
Here's to living life.As "The Lou" did, in the moment, (with unabashed enthusiasm for squirrels), everywhere. ;)
Peace, kids.