May 7th: It's Been Two Years Since...

It's May 7th, and all day long I kept thinking "Is it someone's birthday?", and, what is it I'm supposed to remember? And then, at approximately 9:30 tonight, I was aggravated at my husband, asking him to please sign Mother's Day cards for our sister-in-laws, and I was writing a note inside the first of several cards, and as I dated the card, I asked him "It's May 7th, right?" And when he said "Yes, it's the 7th..." I suddenly cried out, "Oh my God, this is the two-year anniversary of my Mom being diagnosed with cancer...it was on this date, two years ago, that she called me and said "Lisa, it's cancer. I have cancer." May 7th, 2013, at 7:15 in the morning. Why should I care about the date? Because it is a day that changed my mother's life, forever. And it changed the trajectory of my life, too. She survived an initial prognosis of a few months, and beat back cancer for over 12 months. When it bloomed again, with numerous brain tumors returning, she fought back with new rounds of radiation. And survived awhile longer, albeit with greatly reduced "quality of life". So perhaps I'm grateful for May 7th, 2013, because if the diagnosis had come later, we'd have less success, we'd have had far less time, together. But cancer took away our future together; it robbed my mother of her career as a medical records specialist, it removed her from the gym where she loved to work out, she could no longer run every morning--or any morning-- it damaged out her ability to offer counsel to her adoring (and adored!) granddaughter, her penchant for gardening at her younger daughter's home--the home she'd become a part of, for nearly 5 years (she moved to Lake Worth, Florida in August 2008),it ruined the laughter she could easily share with both her daughters, the easy way mom had of making everyone else feel like the most important person in the room.... and it ultimately destroyed her ability to walk and talk. Cancer morphed my beloved mother into a child, and me, her caregiver in the time she had with me (up here in Atlanta), into a mother, myself. I'd never truly thought deeply about this, other than to accept the inevitability of our roles shifting. The unavoidable pain, and loss. Hers. Then mine. Mother's Day is fast approaching, and this year will be an open wound. As I sit here typing this, I think of how often I've promised myself I will tell my mother's story (her many stories), someday. I think that time has come. I'll begin a new chapter in the book of my life, soon. I am creating a foundation, in her honor, and in her name. Stay tuned. And if you are fortunate enough to have your Mom here on earth with you, enjoy those moments, because they will one day, be gone, forever. And it's always far too soon. Peace, kids.

SISTERS...
My sis, Tina and I have traveled different paths in life.
Always outdoorsy and athletic, Tina was quite the glamour girl, too.
I was downright shy, insecure, and a complete klutz where sports were concerned(I now know part of that was my inability to see clearly--before I was diagnosed as extremely myopic). Tina was spontaneous; I planned events carefully.When she longed for marriage and a baby, I was happy working "job-jobs"(my term for non-performance/non-writing work), pursuing acting, and dating around, having fun...
Tina has been more conservative, in the past, where politics are concerned, too.
But here we are, two sisters, in "mid-life", and it seems we've crossed the same path. Both of us are now married(Tina has that baby she always wanted, though my niece has pretty much grown up, now!).Politically, both of us support progressive candidates--in fact, we are both cheering on the same candidate for President! Tina is also working for a project I strongly believe in--amending Florida's constitution so that LGBT persons may fully adopt children in that state.
And I adore SURPRISES. So this week, Tina decided to surprise our Mom, and fly in to surprise her(ostensibly, for Mother's Day).
What a treat hearing that JOY in Mom's voice, as she recounted the details of hearing "package for Ms. Allender...", only to discover her younger daughter was there, in-person, at her job!
I love that Tina and I have each other. That we actually AGREE on some things, makes it even more fun....
Here's to sisters. May we embrace the differences, and celebrate our "common ground, found."