THE LIFE AND DEATH OF "THE LOU".

Photo of Afton and Louie, at home, July, 2009.
Photo of Louie with me(Lisa), hiking, Fall, 2008.

He's gone. Yesterday, Hansoo & I went to the veternarian's to retrieve our Retriever, "Louie". We were hoping to have a night, or perhaps the weekend, to take him to the park(he could not walk at all, but we thought he could enjoy the smells, and perhaps have previously "forbidden" treats(like hamburgers and french fries), and to tell him how much we love him.
Unfortunately, when we arrived at the vet's(Louie needed iv's to keep him hydrated, and our vet had kindly taken him to his own home, and cared for him there, overnight)the intravenous injections had not helped. Anemic, still filled with a deadly infection that had spread from his ears into his brain, when we saw him carried in--eyes glassy--limbs "seizing" as Dr. Mike of All Creatures Hospital put it, we knew the picnic we'd planned would not be happening, and the only blanket we'd all be sitting on, would be Louie's as we held his head, rubbed his furry chest, and told him over and over,"You're a good boy, Louie. We love you. Good boy. Good dog."
I hesitantly looked at Dr.Mike and said, "Can we give him steroids? An Operation?"
"Lisa, he's seizing up. He's dying..." He gently added, "He waited for Hansoo; I knew he'd wait for you, Hansoo."(I had been with Louie caring for him at home all week, but had taken Louie in the night before, because he kept falling, and would not take ANY type of food, or drink. I told myself the vet could somehow alleviate that).
Everyone was crying, though I summoned the will to be still, in order to keep Louie calm, as we asked Dr. Mike to make his passing a bit less painful, and he gently inserted the potion into the port already in Louie's leg.(so that Louie would feel no sting of a needle).I was fearful of looking directly into his eyes as he passed, so I closed his eyes as I began to sing to him "Lean On Me"...
(in recent days, his left-leaning body had elicited at least one political barb from me, Look, he leans to the Left--just like his mother.)

"....you need a friend, we all need, somebody, to leannnn, on."
I did not to finish that line, as Louie's eyes fluttered, and I held him tight.
Hansoo sobbed. I buried my face in Louie's still-warm-fur, and told him "We love you, Louie".
I asked sweet Mandy(vet's assistant), in an oddly calm voice, if we could get a cast of his paw.(A simple procedure for a "keepsake" of your baby).

The drive over, with Louie bundled in the very back of the SUV, was so difficult.
We'd planned for his passing to be at home, and here we were--driving home to let "Afton", our sweet German Shepherd out for a few moments.I wanted Afton to somehow "get" that Louie would not be here anymore.So,we let her see him, his head visible in the blanket in the SUV, and she approached enthusiastically with a wag, then a somewhat curious look, and several sniffs, then a slowwww backing away, as if she suddenly "understood".
She came over to me, sat by my side, and offered her head on my hand, where she kissed me, and whined, and then, like the wonder that all dogs are, suddenly looked up at me, beginning to wag her thump-y tail, as if to say "I'm here; I'm alive!"
I trotted her back to the pantry, gave her a treat, repeatedly telling her "You're a good girl.Be good. Mommy and Daddy will be back soon."
We were headed to "Paws, Whiskers, and Wags", the amazing Pet Crematory who helped us navigate through the shell-shocked pain we felt, once before, when we lost "Frisco", our beloved Aussie, in January, 2008.(See Archives, at this blog, below).
Jill was wonderful---a true professional, she offered help, then let us "visit" with "The Lou" as we called him, one last time.
I asked for scissors to clip just abit more(before we'd left at All Creatures Animal Hospital, I'd gotten a bit) of his reddish-gold fur, held his face again, and told him we loved him, that he was a great dog, "Good dog, Louie.I'll see you again,later." and his body was led away to the crematory.
While we waited(we took his ashes home in an urn; we will select a lovely Howard Miller box with room for a photo, soon), Hansoo and I looked at pictures of dogs,and read descriptions of various breeds, in "The Big Book of Dogs" in the lounge area.I told Hansoo how I'd wished I had a tape of Louie drinking his water from his water-bowl. The loud slurpping and sloshing was always hilarious, and as I told Hansoo this, he scanned through his i-phone for any videos of our doggies he might have stored.
A truly grace-filled moment, was when he clicked onto a video he'd shot,just months ago,of Louie and Afton, playing in our backyard.
A distict slosh, slurp, slosh can be heard as the tape opens. Then a Golden Retriever(Louie,of course)is seen in the lower-left foreground, dripping water, as he watches "Afton" engaging him in play.
A bit of running, jumping, boxing, and a few play-bows later, we see Afton finally sit, and Louie disengage. Hansoo is heard, saying,
"Good boy,Lou; Good girl, Aft." and the tape ends.
The running, jumping, and playing has ended on earth for Louie.
If we're lucky, we get a companion like "The Lou" to run, jump, and play with us.
And if we're really lucky, we get family and friends to help us through a loss like this.
Here's to living life.As "The Lou" did, in the moment, (with unabashed enthusiasm for squirrels), everywhere. ;)
Peace, kids.

Travel updates. And one heckuva dog, "Louie".

So we had a great visit in Franklin area of Nashville, Tennessee.
Hubby Hansoo travels/works occasionally in that area, so I was delighted to get visit him and our "new town" for connecting, and re-connecting.
Speaking of re-connecting, I was thrilled to see cuz Jeff(the son of my mom's sister, my dear sweet Aunt Mary, who died of pancreatic cancer in 2003)who is continuing to make a name for himself in the music-land that is Nashville.
Jeff pens songs, plays a bad-a*& guitar, and sings eloquently.
I love having such a talent in our family! Check out the link to his site, under "Poets, Bloggers and Others", to the right of this entry.
Just scroll down.
From Franklin area of Nashville, Tennessee, we headed by car to Indiana, to both the area called "Little Nashville"(I am researching a woman called "Grandma Barnes"--a colorful character who was half-Cherokee, extremely beautiful and a subject for artists from all over the world, a poet and an actress...and my great-great-grandmother!)....and also, the Franklin area of Indiana, to attend 3rd-cuz, Robin Hall's outdoor wedding. It was a lovely, albeit extremely hot day(perhaps karmic punishment for my own, overly-cold wedding: a garden-wedding held in February, 2007!), and one I treasure:
Robin was radiant, and when her Daddy teared up as they danced the Father-Daughter dance, I recalled my own precious moments with my own Dad, who was sitting across from me.It was great to meet-up with Daddy, especially since I was(and still am!) extremely grateful he could be there:
his 4th heart-attack of the past 14 years, was the same day he flew into Indiana(he left just hours after!).His "saving grace" was the new (Fall, 2004) defibrillator implanted in his chest.
Whew.
We listened to children laughing, I danced the "Macarena"(the cheesy dance everyone else plays at their wedding; our cheesy dance-song was the gay anthem, "YMCA". giggle.), and we ate bbq and took pictures.
We listened to master-pianist, Larry Wayne(another 3rd-cuz of mine) play Preludes he'd written.
And then, we returned home to see our beloved(adopted from Golden Retriever Rescue Association of Atlanta in October, 1998) Golden Retriever is losing his footing, partly due to his hips weakening, and partly because he is suffering from a very nasty bacterial infection of the ear(he's had this "Pseudomonas" several times, but this time, it re-curred, and got to his inner-ear/brain area.sigh.). He's in a constant state of extreme sea-sickness, combined with a loss of balance.He appears to be nauseated, as he is refusing all food,though he's not vomiting.
He weaves, and often, falls.
The library in our house now looks like a small obstacle course of pillows and cushions, to prevent him hurting himself.(double-sigh).
At age 13(approximate, since we're not certain--he could be as young as 12-and-a-half, or closer to 14), we know we're luckier than most, having him for so many fun, great years.
But that doesn't mean when I look into his huge, wet brown eyes, his head tilted in a ridiculously amusing way (horribly, it's from the infection making him dizzy), that this is any easier.
It's so hard to do what I know we must do, to prevent him suffering any further.
We originally just wanted to clear up the infection(minimum time for healing:3-6 weeks, possibly months), and then have a few great weeks to celebrate his life.
It seems, however, that we must now take it not day-by-day, or even hour-by-hour, but moment-to-moment.
If you believe in prayer healing, I would humbly ask for you to pray for healing of any/all kinds.If not of Louie's illness, then may it be a healing of our hearts.
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Peace, kids.