My husband's brother, Arthur, is someone I've known since he was just a youngster, in college. I've gotten to watch him become a serious young man, and then, a thirty-something-man with a great job who longed for a partner with whom he could share his life. I saw him search endlessly for a woman who would make him feel excited to leave work and return home for....He found that woman, Toni, approximately 3 years ago, in mid-2007, on e-harmony.After much e-mailing and many phone calls, they met up at an ice cream shop, and began dating. I met Toni that Thanksgiving, at Arthur's home, in North Carolina, and in January of 2009, they wed in Maui, Hawaii.
Toni wanted to get pregnant "soon", she told me, because she'd grown up happy, but as an "only child" and very much wanted children, a "big family", she said.
So they began making trips--very romantic trips. Italy, Puerto Rico, Charleston...in fact, several trips to a beach-house in Charleston, and viola'! Soon, she was pregnant.
Theyt were both elated to hear this news.
Now almost 36 years old, Arthur is focused and driven, just like my hubby Hansoo, but where Hansoo is quick to anger, Arthur is quick to let tears flow,and his ability to let his feelings emerge is his most endearing quality.
Of course, when it's tears of joy at my wedding, or his own, that's a great thing to witness.
Or when Arthur's lovely wife, Toni, gave birth(an induced birth, 6.5 weeks early), and lovely Morgan Catherine was their bright reward.
But the tears Arthur now sheds--the tears that we all shed now-- are over our loss of lovely Toni, just weeks after giving birth to their first--and only child, Morgan Catherine.
Only 3 days after giving birth,she was diagnosed on Sept. 24th with cancer, and days later, we were told it was "Stage 4 Gastro-intestinal Cancer,of unknown origin."
Toni had been vegetarian, (no eggs, some select fish), nearly her entire just-turned-39-years-old-life.
A veternarian who saved countless animals'lives, and who loved her fulfilling work and had two doggies and a cat of her own, she enjoyed the support of a close family and many friends. She was a non-smoker and non-drinker, who was vibrant, athletic and outdoors-y, and enjoyed river-rafting, hiking, international travel, and dancing(salsa lessons were a favorite).
After some pain, and several attempts to get her cancer treated via stents(for her liver) and chemo, Toni lapsed into a coma, and on October 14th, 2010, Toni Harris Kwon left this world, and I personally believe God must have needed another angel. How else to understand such loss?
We have beautiful baby Morgan Catherine, and two sets of grandparents nearby, to offer love and support to both Daddy-Arthur and little Morgan.
She has an Aunt and Uncle(Hansoo's older brother) in Tennessee, and two cousins(their daughters) there,too.
And here in Atlanta, Morgan has an Aunt ("Theya Lisa") and Uncle Hansoo, who are fully committed to being the best for her, that we can possibly be.
Please keep us in your thoughts, meditations, and prayers.
May God Bless and Keep Your Own Families.
Peace, kids.
Showing posts with label Sudden Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sudden Death. Show all posts
Friday, November 05, 2010
Saturday, August 07, 2010
As If Every Day Is Your Last
I thought the next time I posted, it would be all about re-connecting with my ol' pals from the wild days/daze of the 1980's. "The Limelight, One More Night" held just last Friday (July 30th, 201) was everything you could want in a disco-reunion.
The music, lights, and even showgirls strutting about(including "Evil Sarah" who was covered in whipped cream, red-pasties and wore black fishnets, and who plucked strawberries from a nearby bowl to run over her nearly-nude body for those in attendance, to sample)...Mouthwatering. And the berries were great, too.
Ahem.
I thought I'd talk here about seeing my sis--Tina, for dinner (sushi at Ru-San's)and seeing her best pal--Penny, and one of our dearest friends, Dan-Dan, and my husband--Hansoo, gathered not only for dinner, but dancing, too!
I loved getting to take my niece--Breaz, over to visit with her Mom earlier in the day, and was thrilled as we all met at Ru-San's, waiting for my MIA-for-twenty-years-friend, Sherry, for whom I will forever be grateful to Facebook(she located me, using Facebook), to join us. The meal was great, the conversation, uplifting, the dancing, crazy. Seeing "Baby" (of the(now infamous)Gold Club and did-you-know-she-slept-with-Madonna?)fame, and Randy--the deejay who lit up the original Limelight, for so many years, all those years ago, reminded me of a time in my life when I had little money, and worked several jobs, but I had lots of joy and living-in-the-moment.
It was a reminder to live, now.
At one point, nearly 1,000 people crammed into the old "Roxy" theatre now known as the Buckhead Theatre and reaquainted themselves with friends and dance partners, from the past.
I thought this was all I'd be posting about...until I discovered that Jonathon Spanier, one of the producers of this event, a few days after this "disco-reunion", had gone in for surgery, and came through it like a champ. And then, several hours later, died from complications involving a blood clot, and his heart.
So I'm posting about living life, I guess. Living it, as if every day--or night---is "One More Night". Only.
Condolences to Jonathon Spanier's family and friends.
And thank you for a wonderful, fun, evening, Jonathon.I know you're still dancing.
Peace, kids.
The music, lights, and even showgirls strutting about(including "Evil Sarah" who was covered in whipped cream, red-pasties and wore black fishnets, and who plucked strawberries from a nearby bowl to run over her nearly-nude body for those in attendance, to sample)...Mouthwatering. And the berries were great, too.
Ahem.
I thought I'd talk here about seeing my sis--Tina, for dinner (sushi at Ru-San's)and seeing her best pal--Penny, and one of our dearest friends, Dan-Dan, and my husband--Hansoo, gathered not only for dinner, but dancing, too!
I loved getting to take my niece--Breaz, over to visit with her Mom earlier in the day, and was thrilled as we all met at Ru-San's, waiting for my MIA-for-twenty-years-friend, Sherry, for whom I will forever be grateful to Facebook(she located me, using Facebook), to join us. The meal was great, the conversation, uplifting, the dancing, crazy. Seeing "Baby" (of the(now infamous)Gold Club and did-you-know-she-slept-with-Madonna?)fame, and Randy--the deejay who lit up the original Limelight, for so many years, all those years ago, reminded me of a time in my life when I had little money, and worked several jobs, but I had lots of joy and living-in-the-moment.
It was a reminder to live, now.
At one point, nearly 1,000 people crammed into the old "Roxy" theatre now known as the Buckhead Theatre and reaquainted themselves with friends and dance partners, from the past.
I thought this was all I'd be posting about...until I discovered that Jonathon Spanier, one of the producers of this event, a few days after this "disco-reunion", had gone in for surgery, and came through it like a champ. And then, several hours later, died from complications involving a blood clot, and his heart.
So I'm posting about living life, I guess. Living it, as if every day--or night---is "One More Night". Only.
Condolences to Jonathon Spanier's family and friends.
And thank you for a wonderful, fun, evening, Jonathon.I know you're still dancing.
Peace, kids.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
A HEARTBEAT FROM DEATH.
So today I spoke with the lovely, vibrant, smart, savvy writer pal--an incredibly accomplished woman-- from long ago, Kathy Higgins. I met Kathy at a poetry class taught by ol' Thomas Fuller(rest his soul), in 1997. Thomas was an original member of The Usual Suspects at the old B & N Booksellers on Ashford-Dunwoody. When I signed up for a class through GSU held at Perimeter, I was not told who the instructor was. When I showed up early for the first class, I was stunned to discover it was taught by this fellow I'd met at the Open-Mics held by B & N. Thomas was well-known in fiction circles for his many books for young men, which he co-wrote with his writing partner, Brad Strickland.
Thomas singled out my very first poem, "Sea Life", read it to the entire class, and spoke glowingly about the eroticism/bisexuality inherent in the poem. He inspired me to write more, in fact, he commanded that I write more. This world lost Thomas to a sudden stroke, in the fall of 2002. He was driving one of his sons from school, when he suddenly drove through a red light, and into a house. No one was injured in the house, but his son was injured. Thomas had suffered a stroke, and never regained consciousness. I remember thinking at his funeral, How does this happen? How does someone so lively, so intelligent, so, well, necessary for us, just leave? Since then, I've unfortunately lost many people (and I'd lost several before that, too). What makes losing people so unbearable is the potential seemingly "lost" to some other place, some void we cannot see, we cannot access.
My friend Kathy was detailing her recent experience of attending a wedding with her husband, and telling him she suddenly felt warm, and lightheaded, a bit dizzy,"I'm going to pass out..." And she did. Just like that. But this was no mere fainting spell. This was not some Southern-style, humidity-influenced "vapors".
Kathy's heart. had. stopped. As the vows were being exchanged during this wedding in Cumming Georgia, a woman who works as a chaplain at a local Catholic hospital came to Kathy's aid, prayed for her. Kathy was revived, and her husband of course, insisted she go to the hospital(believe it or not, Kathy was reluctant to do so!). At Northside Hospital's Forsyth branch, she was told she'd suffered from severe arrythmia, and her heart had stopped. Just like that. She needed a Pacemaker. Right away. So she's got a pacemaker implanted, just like my Dad(who's nearly 72) does.
So I'm sitting in my kitchen, listening to Kathy, 54, tell me how she's now thankful for every moment, and she describes the feeling of traveling down a dark tunnel, no light, just darkness, and how scary that part was, but that she's not afraid of death. And how she knows she's "here for a reason", and I agree. And I keep thinking that more than simply believing we are here for a reason, it's up to each of us to discover--to decide, really, what that reason is. Whether we consider ourselves "spiritual" or not, death--and its ever-present reality, is indeed the great equalizer. Sooner or later--it will come. And we better embrace, enjoy, and be grateful. Everyday.
And I turn to Kathy and say "When my Dad(who's suffered three heart attacks--the last one, "fatal", but he was revived also), says he has seen death, well, he's 21 years older, he had several attacks....but you're a peer, and it's very surreal to hear you say you felt this...Imean, you've got so much you're going to do."
I remind her about her wish to do ceramics, to have her own kiln, a cabin in the woods, etc. And she looks at me, and I say "I mean, you still want that, don't you? I mean, you're always DOING something--you do more than anyone I know. Everytime I see you, it's something new."(indeed, I tell Kathy that just in the time I've known her, she has worked for IBM, completed her MBA, become certified in Feng Shui, gotten her real estate license, learned to make homemade soap, completed the Peachtree Road Race--multiple times, and been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul, Volume 4.)
She answered simply " I just want to be thankful, Lisa. I don't have to DO anything."
"You mean, you can just BE?" I asked, not seeing the Zen inherent in such a question, and response.
"Yes, actually," and she smiled that winning smile of hers.
So what's all this about? Awareness. And timing. There's never been a better time, kids, to be aware. Of time. Because there's really never, ever, going to be enough of it.
We all gotta make the most of it, while we have it. The thing I learned today is that maybe making the most of it means, enjoying it by BEING.... Not "accomplishing" by "Doing", but "accomplishing", just by BEING.
Have a great Monday night, and a bright Tuesday.
So today I spoke with the lovely, vibrant, smart, savvy writer pal--an incredibly accomplished woman-- from long ago, Kathy Higgins. I met Kathy at a poetry class taught by ol' Thomas Fuller(rest his soul), in 1997. Thomas was an original member of The Usual Suspects at the old B & N Booksellers on Ashford-Dunwoody. When I signed up for a class through GSU held at Perimeter, I was not told who the instructor was. When I showed up early for the first class, I was stunned to discover it was taught by this fellow I'd met at the Open-Mics held by B & N. Thomas was well-known in fiction circles for his many books for young men, which he co-wrote with his writing partner, Brad Strickland.
Thomas singled out my very first poem, "Sea Life", read it to the entire class, and spoke glowingly about the eroticism/bisexuality inherent in the poem. He inspired me to write more, in fact, he commanded that I write more. This world lost Thomas to a sudden stroke, in the fall of 2002. He was driving one of his sons from school, when he suddenly drove through a red light, and into a house. No one was injured in the house, but his son was injured. Thomas had suffered a stroke, and never regained consciousness. I remember thinking at his funeral, How does this happen? How does someone so lively, so intelligent, so, well, necessary for us, just leave? Since then, I've unfortunately lost many people (and I'd lost several before that, too). What makes losing people so unbearable is the potential seemingly "lost" to some other place, some void we cannot see, we cannot access.
My friend Kathy was detailing her recent experience of attending a wedding with her husband, and telling him she suddenly felt warm, and lightheaded, a bit dizzy,"I'm going to pass out..." And she did. Just like that. But this was no mere fainting spell. This was not some Southern-style, humidity-influenced "vapors".
Kathy's heart. had. stopped. As the vows were being exchanged during this wedding in Cumming Georgia, a woman who works as a chaplain at a local Catholic hospital came to Kathy's aid, prayed for her. Kathy was revived, and her husband of course, insisted she go to the hospital(believe it or not, Kathy was reluctant to do so!). At Northside Hospital's Forsyth branch, she was told she'd suffered from severe arrythmia, and her heart had stopped. Just like that. She needed a Pacemaker. Right away. So she's got a pacemaker implanted, just like my Dad(who's nearly 72) does.
So I'm sitting in my kitchen, listening to Kathy, 54, tell me how she's now thankful for every moment, and she describes the feeling of traveling down a dark tunnel, no light, just darkness, and how scary that part was, but that she's not afraid of death. And how she knows she's "here for a reason", and I agree. And I keep thinking that more than simply believing we are here for a reason, it's up to each of us to discover--to decide, really, what that reason is. Whether we consider ourselves "spiritual" or not, death--and its ever-present reality, is indeed the great equalizer. Sooner or later--it will come. And we better embrace, enjoy, and be grateful. Everyday.
And I turn to Kathy and say "When my Dad(who's suffered three heart attacks--the last one, "fatal", but he was revived also), says he has seen death, well, he's 21 years older, he had several attacks....but you're a peer, and it's very surreal to hear you say you felt this...Imean, you've got so much you're going to do."
I remind her about her wish to do ceramics, to have her own kiln, a cabin in the woods, etc. And she looks at me, and I say "I mean, you still want that, don't you? I mean, you're always DOING something--you do more than anyone I know. Everytime I see you, it's something new."(indeed, I tell Kathy that just in the time I've known her, she has worked for IBM, completed her MBA, become certified in Feng Shui, gotten her real estate license, learned to make homemade soap, completed the Peachtree Road Race--multiple times, and been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul, Volume 4.)
She answered simply " I just want to be thankful, Lisa. I don't have to DO anything."
"You mean, you can just BE?" I asked, not seeing the Zen inherent in such a question, and response.
"Yes, actually," and she smiled that winning smile of hers.
So what's all this about? Awareness. And timing. There's never been a better time, kids, to be aware. Of time. Because there's really never, ever, going to be enough of it.
We all gotta make the most of it, while we have it. The thing I learned today is that maybe making the most of it means, enjoying it by BEING.... Not "accomplishing" by "Doing", but "accomplishing", just by BEING.
Have a great Monday night, and a bright Tuesday.
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