Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Saturday, January 04, 2014
HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2014!
Well, kids, it is January 4th and the New Year looks brighter than I ever expected....
While we as a family are still reeling from all the parental-illness of the past year, I can say I am buoyed by my resilient family, my always-kind friends, and you, dear readers...
I have made only a few Resolutions this year, so I can actually achieve them:
* Drive! My biggest failing in life, is my confidence (or lack, thereof).It affects my mobility, as I seldom drive(and I have a beautiful car sitting in our garage!).
* Submit more writing. I've already begun doing this. I have a children's book to submit, a play to finish, and lots of (new) poems.
See a poem of mine, just published in December, in the Current Issue of Flycatcher Journal:
www.flycatcherjournal.org
* More CONFIDENCE. I need to get New Headshots, and pursue my acting full-out, full-on.
* If and When my Family needs me, to be available--as I have been the past year-- with extra energy and patience.
And finally, to help in that promise, to exercise and do more meditation, every single day!
I've (so far!) been walking/running every day now, at least 1-2 miles.
I'm meditating now, twice a day: morning and night.
What are YOUR promises to yourself?
Peace, kids.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Grace in the midst of chaos.
Nine months is the time it takes for gestation, the time it takes to grow a new life, to give birth.I count back from now,the month of May....Which would be September, and that's when what most folks would say a rain/reign of challenges began.
First,(and continuing the metaphor, literally here) the lovely baby that was expected on Nov.4th(which happens to be my own birthday), was induced into birth, because my talented,and gorgeous sis-in-law was suddenly in pain,and her doctors feared something might "go wrong", if the baby(Beautiful Morgan Catherine) was not delivered (10 weeks early!)immediately.Only three days days later, we received news that Toni(that sister-in-law) had been put through several tests, when it was discovered she had cancer.Two days after that, we learned it was "Advanced, Stage 4, Gastro-intestinal Cancer of Unknown Origin."
Toni passed way, after a valiant attempt to beat advanced Stage 4 Cancer, approximately three weeks after her baby was born.Which left Arthur, my husband's younger brother, as a (devastated) single Dad.Shortly after this, Arthur and my husband's own own Dad's cancer, returned(years ago, he had prostate cancer, which was defeated....but it returned).The two brothers grieved quietly, but they grieved, and still grieve, over what treatments may (or may not)ever work for their Dad, my father-in-law.
Next, my husband began to have odd pains all over his body, which turned out to be non-acute appendicitis.He was given an "option" to have his appendix removed, but because it was "inexplicably large"(a 13 instead of a normal6), he opted for removal...and it's a good thing, since when it was removed, it was noticeably "fiberous". So, a biopsy was done. Biopsy results? A "Carcinoid Tumor".... so rare, it affects less than 1% of the world population.We were told it was early stage, possibly Stage I, and since it's rarely found until very late(deadly) stage, because there are NO early symptoms, "he was lucky" to have had appendicitis, or we'd never have known about it. So, this meant a second surgery for Hansoo, but one that would remove the cancer. All the while, we were juggling our grief(over the loss of Toni), our exhaustion (doctor's appointments, operations, and spending (happy) time with new Daddy, Arthur, and everyone's little miracle, Morgan)and our now-regular apprehension(fear of even a cold or flu, because either would make caring for each other, impossible).
So when Monday night's routine trip to a local grocery store, for my beloved in-laws turned into a twisted metal wreck of a Lexus SUV, as a Chevy truck struck them broadside("t-bone" fashion), then flipped over them, traveling at a high rate of speed as they attempted a left-hand turn, I held my breath as I rode in a friend's car to the hospital, following Hansoo, just minutes after he received a call from our local hospital's Emergency Room, that his parents had been admitted.
His Dad:
Broken ribs, mild concussion, bruise.
His Mother, seated in front passenger-side, was not as fortunate:
numerous broken bones
spine:fractured discs
spine:compressed discs
broken right shoulder
broken right arm(multiple)
hairline fracture, neck
bruises
lacerations
His Dad is back here, at home with us.His Mom, "Omma K." as I call her, is undergoing a life-saving blood-transfusion to strengthen her for her upcoming surgery.She'll be back home soon, but there will be weeks of rehabilitation therapy, physical therapy. And months and months of healing.
The loving Roman Catholic nun, Mother Theresa, famously said "I know God only gives me what he knows I can handle.....I just wish He didn't trust me so much."
It would be easy to say It is too much, all of these trials, all these tragedies, so close together, or I can't handle this; it is too hard.
But I am reminded it's been nine months, and like the baby, Morgan Catherine, our long-gone sis-in-law Toni gave birth to, perhaps these nine months are preparing us/me for a time of new life, new purpose.It's a way to re-frame the seeming chaos, and embrace what I'll call challenges, rather than call them difficulties, or tragedies.
When challenges emerge, we must grow to meet them.
I'm lighting a candle--a scented one, tonight.Savoring the sweet aroma, with the deep breaths I can easily take, even as "Omma K." struggles to take the deep breaths so necessary for her to strenthen her lungs, and for her to avoid the all-too-common hospital-pneumonia.
I am grateful, even now, for family, and, for God. Especially now.
Peace, kids.
First,(and continuing the metaphor, literally here) the lovely baby that was expected on Nov.4th(which happens to be my own birthday), was induced into birth, because my talented,and gorgeous sis-in-law was suddenly in pain,and her doctors feared something might "go wrong", if the baby(Beautiful Morgan Catherine) was not delivered (10 weeks early!)immediately.Only three days days later, we received news that Toni(that sister-in-law) had been put through several tests, when it was discovered she had cancer.Two days after that, we learned it was "Advanced, Stage 4, Gastro-intestinal Cancer of Unknown Origin."
Toni passed way, after a valiant attempt to beat advanced Stage 4 Cancer, approximately three weeks after her baby was born.Which left Arthur, my husband's younger brother, as a (devastated) single Dad.Shortly after this, Arthur and my husband's own own Dad's cancer, returned(years ago, he had prostate cancer, which was defeated....but it returned).The two brothers grieved quietly, but they grieved, and still grieve, over what treatments may (or may not)ever work for their Dad, my father-in-law.
Next, my husband began to have odd pains all over his body, which turned out to be non-acute appendicitis.He was given an "option" to have his appendix removed, but because it was "inexplicably large"(a 13 instead of a normal6), he opted for removal...and it's a good thing, since when it was removed, it was noticeably "fiberous". So, a biopsy was done. Biopsy results? A "Carcinoid Tumor".... so rare, it affects less than 1% of the world population.We were told it was early stage, possibly Stage I, and since it's rarely found until very late(deadly) stage, because there are NO early symptoms, "he was lucky" to have had appendicitis, or we'd never have known about it. So, this meant a second surgery for Hansoo, but one that would remove the cancer. All the while, we were juggling our grief(over the loss of Toni), our exhaustion (doctor's appointments, operations, and spending (happy) time with new Daddy, Arthur, and everyone's little miracle, Morgan)and our now-regular apprehension(fear of even a cold or flu, because either would make caring for each other, impossible).
So when Monday night's routine trip to a local grocery store, for my beloved in-laws turned into a twisted metal wreck of a Lexus SUV, as a Chevy truck struck them broadside("t-bone" fashion), then flipped over them, traveling at a high rate of speed as they attempted a left-hand turn, I held my breath as I rode in a friend's car to the hospital, following Hansoo, just minutes after he received a call from our local hospital's Emergency Room, that his parents had been admitted.
His Dad:
Broken ribs, mild concussion, bruise.
His Mother, seated in front passenger-side, was not as fortunate:
numerous broken bones
spine:fractured discs
spine:compressed discs
broken right shoulder
broken right arm(multiple)
hairline fracture, neck
bruises
lacerations
His Dad is back here, at home with us.His Mom, "Omma K." as I call her, is undergoing a life-saving blood-transfusion to strengthen her for her upcoming surgery.She'll be back home soon, but there will be weeks of rehabilitation therapy, physical therapy. And months and months of healing.
The loving Roman Catholic nun, Mother Theresa, famously said "I know God only gives me what he knows I can handle.....I just wish He didn't trust me so much."
It would be easy to say It is too much, all of these trials, all these tragedies, so close together, or I can't handle this; it is too hard.
But I am reminded it's been nine months, and like the baby, Morgan Catherine, our long-gone sis-in-law Toni gave birth to, perhaps these nine months are preparing us/me for a time of new life, new purpose.It's a way to re-frame the seeming chaos, and embrace what I'll call challenges, rather than call them difficulties, or tragedies.
When challenges emerge, we must grow to meet them.
I'm lighting a candle--a scented one, tonight.Savoring the sweet aroma, with the deep breaths I can easily take, even as "Omma K." struggles to take the deep breaths so necessary for her to strenthen her lungs, and for her to avoid the all-too-common hospital-pneumonia.
I am grateful, even now, for family, and, for God. Especially now.
Peace, kids.
Friday, September 12, 2008
UPDATE ON LISA.
I've been extremely ill the past two weeks, and did not want to have to detail this, but since I am unable to respond to all the e-mails and phone calls(THANK YOU SO MUCH, btw, I DO appreciate and feel the love!) I am receiving, it makes sense to post here, about what is going on....
Some time ago, I made arrangements to have surgery at The Cleveland Clinic for dealing with the Diverticulitis that has plagued me since June, 2003. The famed Ohio hospital has the best surgeons(particularly laprascopic gastrointestinal surgeons!) in the world. The operation was scheduled for mid-September. I arranged an unpaid, medical leave from my "job-job"(my term for a non-writing, non-performance job), and planned to rest fir a few days before flying to Ohio.
Unfortunately, I became violently ill the night before my last scheduled day of work. I was so ill, I was unable to go to work at all the last day, which made me very sad. I love my "job-job", which involves working with jewelry and accessories. It's a fun, fast-paced job where I feel very appreciated, and my fellow "team-members" are as kind and as hard-working as I am. I got sicker, and sicker, and was advised by my surgeon in Cleveland to head immediately to a local ER to get a CAT-scan to identify what was wrong.
I waited 'til the next morning; I simply felt too weak.
The morning we headed to the hospital, I was so ill I could not eat even an ice-chip without it "returning"(yuck!).
The wait was short, and the nurses, uniformly efficient, and ridiculously young and attractive "Are you a real nurse or do you just play one on T.V.?" I asked of cute brunette Nurse Jennifer(5'3", blue-eyes framed with a-young-Liz-Taylor-like-lashes), who asked "Why do say that?",clearly not understanding that my vision of nurses was shaped by old 1940's and 1950's images: older ladies wearing white dresses with white hose, and little "nurses' caps" on their heads.
Nurse Jennifer, and Nurse Jessica were a cross between the women of "Scrubs", and "Grey's Anatomy". Lots of glamour. I should add that Nurse Jennifer managed to take my blood, and insert an IV on the first try, an unbelievable feat, given the amount of sticks my tiny, almost-invisible veins normally have to endure! At 23, she was already a true professional. Nurse Jessica looked like the love-child of Jessica Alba(her coloring) and Jessica Simpson(her mouth, her figure). I wound up waiting in the CDU--Critical Decision Unit with uh, folks committed to, uh, being committed. The only bed available was there, and I learned a great deal in the hours to follow, about psychiatric meds, and discovered a wealth of security guards are assigned to these areas.
I had complained of being "so thirsty" (no surprise, since I'd had no liquids in three days!) for hours. I was on IV solution for several hours, and then presented with a 42-ounce lemon-y flavored drink to suck down in order to proceed with the CAT-scan. Be careful what you wish for, I thought. God provides. Finally, I had the CAT-scan made, and was moved to a gorgeous private room with flowers and a window. The diagnosis: Colitis. A serious intestinal disease, an inflammation of not just the Diverticular area, but "the entire region". My uncle who has suffered with Crohn's Disease for years, calls Colitis, "a cousin of Crohn's disease."
I still felt the illness I suffered was a "bacteria or virus" and I repeated this, several times.
The ER doc put me on Levaquin (an antibiotic I have used with no side effects, to treat Diverticulitis, over the years).
When I spoke with my own doctor the next day, she explained my long-planned-for surgery would be delayed a bit. "If they cut you when you have colitis, the infection can go into your bloodstream, and you can die."
and: "The surgeon cnnot cut and resew the intestines, because the tissue is not healthy. It won't hold. You have to be COMPLETELY healed."
I kept saying "I dunno. This feels like when I had e-coli, back in May, 1996. It feels like a bacterial infection. Can they test for that?"
She said they could, and I'm glad I insisted.
I had Hansoo drop off a sample (I'll spare you details here) and next day, I get a call from my gastroenterologist.
"Lisa, you have pseudomonas(spell?) colitis; it's a rare and very serious bacterial infection..
"So I was right? Is it like e.coli?"
"Yes", she began, "It's in the same class of bacteria, as a matter of fact...."
She explained only two different drugs can kill it, and one of them, I'm allergic to (Flagyl). So I'm off my old favorite, Levaquin, which is ineffective against this, and on the other one that actually can kill it, and it appears to be working well.
So the colitis may have been induced by this bacteria, or at least that's the way it appears....So.....I have a delay right now, of a few more weeks, before they will agree to perform surgery on me. Sigh.
I have in the past, asked for prayers, but I would encourage you to send prayers out to all those who are far worse off than me: those who are children, those who are without health insurance, those who are suffering in great pain, or from great loss, or going through a trauma right now.
I'm going to be great. And I can't wait 'til the surgery is over, because then I can have whatever I want to eat(any nuts, berries, seeds, baklava, lemon-poppy-seed-cake, etc.)
And know I'm thinking of all of you, every day.
I'll try to post later this week: my poem I promised you(I've misplaced it!!), and a few other poetry tid-bits, and updates on the Queer Lit Fest (which I'll be participating in!!) too.
God Bless You and keep you, kids.
Now, I'm headed back to bed. Peace, kids.
I've been extremely ill the past two weeks, and did not want to have to detail this, but since I am unable to respond to all the e-mails and phone calls(THANK YOU SO MUCH, btw, I DO appreciate and feel the love!) I am receiving, it makes sense to post here, about what is going on....
Some time ago, I made arrangements to have surgery at The Cleveland Clinic for dealing with the Diverticulitis that has plagued me since June, 2003. The famed Ohio hospital has the best surgeons(particularly laprascopic gastrointestinal surgeons!) in the world. The operation was scheduled for mid-September. I arranged an unpaid, medical leave from my "job-job"(my term for a non-writing, non-performance job), and planned to rest fir a few days before flying to Ohio.
Unfortunately, I became violently ill the night before my last scheduled day of work. I was so ill, I was unable to go to work at all the last day, which made me very sad. I love my "job-job", which involves working with jewelry and accessories. It's a fun, fast-paced job where I feel very appreciated, and my fellow "team-members" are as kind and as hard-working as I am. I got sicker, and sicker, and was advised by my surgeon in Cleveland to head immediately to a local ER to get a CAT-scan to identify what was wrong.
I waited 'til the next morning; I simply felt too weak.
The morning we headed to the hospital, I was so ill I could not eat even an ice-chip without it "returning"(yuck!).
The wait was short, and the nurses, uniformly efficient, and ridiculously young and attractive "Are you a real nurse or do you just play one on T.V.?" I asked of cute brunette Nurse Jennifer(5'3", blue-eyes framed with a-young-Liz-Taylor-like-lashes), who asked "Why do say that?",clearly not understanding that my vision of nurses was shaped by old 1940's and 1950's images: older ladies wearing white dresses with white hose, and little "nurses' caps" on their heads.
Nurse Jennifer, and Nurse Jessica were a cross between the women of "Scrubs", and "Grey's Anatomy". Lots of glamour. I should add that Nurse Jennifer managed to take my blood, and insert an IV on the first try, an unbelievable feat, given the amount of sticks my tiny, almost-invisible veins normally have to endure! At 23, she was already a true professional. Nurse Jessica looked like the love-child of Jessica Alba(her coloring) and Jessica Simpson(her mouth, her figure). I wound up waiting in the CDU--Critical Decision Unit with uh, folks committed to, uh, being committed. The only bed available was there, and I learned a great deal in the hours to follow, about psychiatric meds, and discovered a wealth of security guards are assigned to these areas.
I had complained of being "so thirsty" (no surprise, since I'd had no liquids in three days!) for hours. I was on IV solution for several hours, and then presented with a 42-ounce lemon-y flavored drink to suck down in order to proceed with the CAT-scan. Be careful what you wish for, I thought. God provides. Finally, I had the CAT-scan made, and was moved to a gorgeous private room with flowers and a window. The diagnosis: Colitis. A serious intestinal disease, an inflammation of not just the Diverticular area, but "the entire region". My uncle who has suffered with Crohn's Disease for years, calls Colitis, "a cousin of Crohn's disease."
I still felt the illness I suffered was a "bacteria or virus" and I repeated this, several times.
The ER doc put me on Levaquin (an antibiotic I have used with no side effects, to treat Diverticulitis, over the years).
When I spoke with my own doctor the next day, she explained my long-planned-for surgery would be delayed a bit. "If they cut you when you have colitis, the infection can go into your bloodstream, and you can die."
and: "The surgeon cnnot cut and resew the intestines, because the tissue is not healthy. It won't hold. You have to be COMPLETELY healed."
I kept saying "I dunno. This feels like when I had e-coli, back in May, 1996. It feels like a bacterial infection. Can they test for that?"
She said they could, and I'm glad I insisted.
I had Hansoo drop off a sample (I'll spare you details here) and next day, I get a call from my gastroenterologist.
"Lisa, you have pseudomonas(spell?) colitis; it's a rare and very serious bacterial infection..
"So I was right? Is it like e.coli?"
"Yes", she began, "It's in the same class of bacteria, as a matter of fact...."
She explained only two different drugs can kill it, and one of them, I'm allergic to (Flagyl). So I'm off my old favorite, Levaquin, which is ineffective against this, and on the other one that actually can kill it, and it appears to be working well.
So the colitis may have been induced by this bacteria, or at least that's the way it appears....So.....I have a delay right now, of a few more weeks, before they will agree to perform surgery on me. Sigh.
I have in the past, asked for prayers, but I would encourage you to send prayers out to all those who are far worse off than me: those who are children, those who are without health insurance, those who are suffering in great pain, or from great loss, or going through a trauma right now.
I'm going to be great. And I can't wait 'til the surgery is over, because then I can have whatever I want to eat(any nuts, berries, seeds, baklava, lemon-poppy-seed-cake, etc.)
And know I'm thinking of all of you, every day.
I'll try to post later this week: my poem I promised you(I've misplaced it!!), and a few other poetry tid-bits, and updates on the Queer Lit Fest (which I'll be participating in!!) too.
God Bless You and keep you, kids.
Now, I'm headed back to bed. Peace, kids.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
UPDATE ON LISA'S HEALTH.
"The good news is, it's not a kidney stone; the bad news is, it's not a kidney stone." This is the dry way in which I must tell you I am concerned about what lies ahead...More tests on Tuesday, and answers, soon.
If you meditate or pray, please send warm thoughts out to me.
God Bless You.
Peace, kids.
Please note: I have been unable to post here or at Practice What You Peace, for a few days now, due to computer problems. I am still unable to access my e-mails; I am unable to send or receive any e-mail!
"The good news is, it's not a kidney stone; the bad news is, it's not a kidney stone." This is the dry way in which I must tell you I am concerned about what lies ahead...More tests on Tuesday, and answers, soon.
If you meditate or pray, please send warm thoughts out to me.
God Bless You.
Peace, kids.
Please note: I have been unable to post here or at Practice What You Peace, for a few days now, due to computer problems. I am still unable to access my e-mails; I am unable to send or receive any e-mail!
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